The Group Chat Without Me, The Life They Had Without Me Chapter 09
In the second week after Owen’s visit, I received an email from an unfamiliar address.
The subject line read: [Formal Apology to Nora Bennett]
It was from Dylan.
The wording was so formal that it read like a corporate statement.
[Dear Ms. Bennett, I, Dylan Ross, sincerely apologize for my inappropriate conduct over the past two years.]
[My repeated participation in concealing social gatherings from you through the group chat was the result of poor judgment and was not intended to cause harm…]
There was a long paragraph after that.
It mostly amounted to [I didn’t mean to hurt you], [I failed to consider the consequences at the time], and [I hope you will accept my apology].
I closed the email without responding.
Even his apology felt like something he was doing just to check a box.
Three days later, Brooke asked me to meet her.
She sent three messages, none of which I answered. Finally, she called.
“Nora, I know you don’t want to see me. But there are things I want to say in person. Just give me five minutes.”
I hesitated for a long time before agreeing.
We met at the coffee shop downstairs from my office.
Brooke looked terrible when she arrived. She looked as though she had either been crying or hadn’t slept properly in days.
After sitting down, she took a deep breath.
“Nora, I’m sorry.”
I stirred my drink without answering.
“When Caleb first created that group chat, I knew it was wrong.”
“But everyone else was in it, and I… didn’t want to be the one left out.”
“So you chose to make me the one left out.”
She bit her lip.
“Yes. I know how pathetic that sounds.”
“But that really was what I thought at the time. If I didn’t go along with them, I would be the next person they pushed out.”
I looked up at her.
Her eyes were red.
“I was your best friend for four years, and I spent all four of them helping those people lie to you. I know anything I say now is too late.”
“Did you come here because you want me to forgive you?”
“No.” She shook her head. “I just wanted you to know that I understand how awful what I did was.”
“It wasn’t because there was anything wrong with you. I was a coward.”
The music in the coffee shop was soft enough to fade into white noise.
I took a sip of my iced latte.
“Brooke, let me ask you something.”
“Go ahead.”
“Did you really feel uncomfortable around me?”
She froze, then shook her head hard.
“No. I liked spending time with you.”
“It was just that they kept saying the mood changed whenever you were there, and I… started looking at you through their eyes.”
“And eventually, you decided they were right.”
“Yes.” She lowered her head. “I’m disgusted with myself.”
I didn’t answer.
After a while, she stood.
“I should go. Nora, I don’t expect you to forgive me.”
“But if you ever need help, you can call me. Even though you probably never will.”
She left.
I stayed where I was and finished the iced latte.
It wasn’t bitter or sweet. It was just ordinary.
When I got home, I took Caleb off my blocked list.
I wasn’t trying to get back together with him.
Keeping him blocked simply made it feel as though I still cared.
When I opened our old conversation, I found forty-seven unread messages dating back three weeks.
At first, he wrote:
Caleb: [Can you please answer me?]
Caleb: [I know I was wrong.]
Later, the messages changed:
Caleb: [Nora, I shut down the group chat. Dylan and the others have all apologized.]
Later still, he wrote:
Caleb: [What do you want me to do?]
Caleb: [You’re making me fall apart.]
The most recent message had been sent the day before.
Caleb: [Nora, my dad is in the hospital. I’m not trying to make you feel sorry for me. I just wanted you to know.]
I stared at the message, my finger hovering over the screen.
Mr. Mercer Sr. was in the hospital.
He was the man who always made sure I had a thoughtful gift at every holiday and greeted me with a smile whenever he called me Nora.
He was the only one who had never been part of that group chat.
After thinking for a moment, I replied.
Me: [I hope Mr. Mercer Sr. feels better soon.]
Caleb answered about ten seconds later.
Caleb: [Thank you.]
Then another message appeared.
Caleb: [Nora, can we meet? We don’t have to talk about anything else. I just want to see you.]
I didn’t respond.
I set down my phone and made dinner.
I didn’t need much when I was eating alone—just a bowl of soup and a side salad.
While washing the dishes afterward, I found myself reaching for my phone again.
There were no new messages.
I dried the dishes and put them away.
There was no reason to see him.
What good would meeting him do?
He didn’t regret shutting me out.
He regretted that I had actually left.
Those were two completely different things.