The Day I Lost My Taste for Love, and for You Chapter 01
On my first birthday after I lost my sense of taste, my best friend Jessica Carter and my boyfriend Oliver Richardson baked me a cake with their own hands.
The moment I swallowed the first bite, Jessica spoke up.
“Anna, we mixed escargot and live maggot cheese into the batter!”
“You’re so brave!”
She slapped the table and howled.
Oliver had his phone up and aimed at my face, and he was laughing too hard to hold it steady.
“Anna, Jessica spent forever hunting that stuff down online. It might actually wake your taste buds up.”
I ran into the bathroom and threw up over the toilet until nothing was left but bile.
Oliver followed me in and rubbed my back, and his voice was gentle.
“Jessica means well. The doctor said strong stimulation might work.”
It was for my own good, and it had always been for my own good.
Squeezing half a tube of wasabi into my soup three months ago had been for my own good.
Boiling canned cat food into my pasta had been for my own good.
Swapping my water for grain alcohol until I coughed up streaks of blood had been for my own good, too.
Every time they left me at my most wretched, the two of them laughed, and then they said the same thing.
“We’re doing this for you. Who else would ever help you like this?”
I sat down on the floor with my stomach still clenching.
Jessica’s voice came from the living room, pitched low.
“Did we take it too far?”
Oliver answered under his breath.
“It’s fine. It’s like this every time.”
He was right, and it was like this every time.
But this time I was finished playing.
*****
“Anna, are you done in there?”
Jessica’s voice came through the door, bright and quick, along with the tap of her knuckles on the glass.
“Come blow out your candles if you done. The wax is dripping all over the table.”
I watched the water spin down the bowl and pressed the flush.
A dull, rusted blade seemed to scrape slowly across the inside of my stomach.
I braced myself on the counter and stood up.
The cold water from the faucet hit my face and stung.
I pushed the door open.
Oliver was standing in the hallway with a glass of warm water.
He was wearing the white shirt I had ironed for him, and his face was as soft and handsome as ever.
“Here. Rinse your mouth.”
He brought the glass to my lips and tucked the damp hair at my temple behind my ear with his other hand.
“Jessica’s careless by nature. She figured a taste that extreme would have to wake up your taste nerves.”
His voice was as gentle as it always was.
I looked at the glass and did not take it.
“My stomach hurts.”
“I know you feel awful.” Oliver let out a small sigh, and his eyes were full of patience. “But we’re all trying to help you. Right?”
In the living room, Jessica had already pushed the sliced, revolting cake aside.
She pulled an enormous gift box out of her bag and dropped it on the table with a bang.
“Come on, come on, present time!”
She waved me over with a smile that had no shadow in it at all.
“I spent two whole weeks picking this out.”
I walked to the table and untied the ribbon while she watched.
Inside the box lay a set of top-shelf scented oils and a finely made wooden diffuser.
A thick, almost caustic wave of spice rolled out of it.
I took half a step back without meaning to.
Since losing my sense of taste, my sense of smell had turned unbearably sharp.
A scent that strong was no different from pepper spray poured straight up my nose.
“Isn’t it incredible?”
Jessica leaned in, delighted.
“The girl at the counter said it’s their strongest line. Total Awakening.”
“You can’t taste anything, so we’ll go through your nose instead. Two fronts at once. It has to work.”
Oliver came over and picked up one of the bottles as if it were the natural thing to do.
“Jessica put real thought into this. This brand is hard to get.”
He looked at me.
“Anna, I’ll light one for you before bed and we’ll see how it goes.”
I watched the two of them trade lines, and the heavy perfume seemed to clog my breathing.
“I don’t want the oils.”
Jessica’s smile froze for a second.
“Oh, come on, don’t be so closed off to new things.”
She threw an arm around my shoulders and shook me hard.
“Refusing treatment is no way to get better. I’m your best friend. Would I ever hurt you?”
She turned to Oliver.
“Look at her. She gets more delicate by the day. She wasn’t like this back when she’d eat ghost pepper wings with me.”
Oliver gave a helpless smile and patted my back.
“Anna’s been in a bad place lately. Cut her some slack.”
I looked at him without saying anything.
It was my birthday.
And yet I had somehow become the troublemaker who needed slack and patience.
Oliver took a small velvet box out of his pocket.
“Anna. Happy birthday.”
Inside was a diamond necklace with a simple setting.
I recognized the brand because I had looked at it a second too long the last time we went shopping.
“Thank you.”
I took it calmly.
Jessica craned her neck to see.
“Wow, Oliver, you play favorites! That necklace costs tens of thousands.”
She made a face, and there was open wheedling in her voice.
“My birthday’s coming up too. How come you never buy me anything that expensive?”
Oliver laughed and pulled a slightly smaller box out of his other pocket.
“When I bought the necklace, the salesgirl said they throw in a matching bracelet if you spend enough.”
He pushed the box across to Jessica.
“Anna has to draw all day and a bracelet gets in her way, so you take this one.”
Jessica let out a cheer.
“Oliver, you’re the best!”
She stuck her wrist out at him.
“Put it on me. Come on, hurry up.”
Oliver did not refuse.
He bent his head, worked the clasp open with quick fingers, and fastened the bracelet carefully around her wrist.
“Perfect fit,” he said quietly.
I stood a step away and watched their two heads bent together.
The light caught the diamonds, and it hurt to look at them.
“Oh, Oliver.” Jessica shook her wrist. “Come with me tomorrow to get Cookie her shots. She’s been vicious lately and I can’t hold her down by myself.”
Cookie was the Maine Coon she kept.
Oliver looked up and seemed to hesitate.
“Tomorrow’s Saturday.”
He glanced at me.
“Anna has her neurology follow-up tomorrow.”
Jessica waved it off.
“It’s a checkup, not surgery. Anna can go by herself.”
She came over and hooked her arm through mine.
“You’re the independent one, right, Anna? And you know what Cookie’s claws are like. They hurt.”
Oliver looked at me with a question in his eyes.
“Anna, if you think you’ll be fine on your own…”
My stomach started aching again.
It was a cramp that dragged the nerves along with it.
“I’ll be fine.” I heard how steady my own voice sounded.
Oliver’s relief was obvious.
“Text me when you’re done and I’ll take Jessica to lunch, then swing by and pick you up.”
“Sure.”
I nodded, picked up the necklace, and walked back to the bedroom.
The moment the door shut, Jessica’s laughter rang out through the living room again, loud and unbothered.
“See? I told you Anna isn’t that fragile.”
Oliver’s voice was low and indulgent.
“You always have an argument ready.”